During our hope group Z busted out this new phrase.
Z: "I want cheese. Cheese in my yogurt."
Jesse: "Oh, we don't put cheese in our yogurt."
Z: "Why not?"
I literally felt like the earth had stopped moving. Maybe that is dramatic, maybe I am dramatic (maybe is not an admittance) but I seriously couldn't get over the fact that Z had asked "why not?" This show so many levels of complex thinking it's ridiculous.
Why this, instead of that. Why can't I? Why don't you? What is it fundamentally about the world that makes it so that cheese should not be added to yogurt? ... Those are just a few of the things I really heard. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, our girl is a rockstar.
Her sister is a rockstar too. This is how she responds to shots:
Ana's turn for shots. I lay her down on the table and hold down her arms while her nurse, Lisa (isn't that STRANGE!? why are all the medical personnel in her life named Lisa?) holds down her legs so she can't move. At this point, Z would have been screaming her lungs out. Ana, no. She lays there just cooing and smiling and thinking it's the best thing in the world. One shot. She cries. Two shots. She screams. Three shots. More screams. To be expected really. That is what I feel like doing when I get a shot. But, by the time Nurse (M.A.?) Lisa has put the 3 little bandaids on Ana - still laying down on the table mind you - is all smiles again. The end. No nursing. No fuss. Just back to her old self. As if shots were nothing more than a little bump on the radar of her sunshine life. I think Ana is made out of gumdrops.
Life with two babies is still that - life with two babies. Ana makes me want to have more babies. Millions of sweet, cuddly, smile at you all day long babies.
And Zoe makes me want to have more toddlers, more fun, play with play-doh, sidewalk chalk, watercolor, sing your ABCs and be obsessed with bubble bath toddlers.
That being said, some days I want to scream at the top of my lungs and pull out all of my hair. Here is a story for you:
Someday a week or so ago, we wanted to go on a walk. We go on a walk almost every morning without exception because it so stinkin hot that if you miss your opportunity to go outside while it is cool, that's it. game over. Here it is:
9am. Say, "lets go on a walk!" As you go to put Ana in the stroller, realize she is wet. Change her. As you pick her up to go put her in the stroller, realize she is rooting. Stop. Go sit on couch and nurse Ana for 15 minutes. Realize after you are done, she is wet again. Go change Ana. While changing Ana, realize Z has been very quiet while pulling every pair of shoes down from the shelf in the closet. Ask, "Zoe, do you need a new diaper?" Hear, "I got the poops!" Finish with Ana, put her in stroller and go change Z. When done, realize that if you don't bring a snack and water on this walk, you will have one very uphappy toddler by the time you get 20 feet down the road. Fill snack cup. Fill water. Grab sunscreen, shoes and hair ties for your toddler. Catch toddler. Put shoes on your toddler. Sunscreen your toddler. Pin toddler between your legs. Put toddler's hair up. Go back to stroller to get Ana, realize she has peed, yet again. Go change Ana. Go back to stroller, pass toddler's shoes without said toddler in them on the way. Re-catch toddler. Re-shoe toddler.
9:50am: Walk out the door. Realize you forgot your sunglasses. Convince toddler to come back to the house with you.
9:55am: Go on a walk.
That morning was OOC. I couldn't help but think that before it all, when I thought, "I want to go on a walk." I stood up. Slipped my toes into my sandals and went out the door. 30 seconds, max.
It isn't always like that. But sometimes, it is very much like that. Sometimes with more screaming and crying involved. The more kids you add, the crazier it gets, I'm sure of it. But also, the sweeter. We love Z. Z loves Ana. We love Ana.
God is tricky like that. The way He designs our hearts for love even in the midst of chaos.
Two year report:
36 3/4" - 95%
29.1# - 73%
49.5 cm - 90%
3 month report:
24 3/4" - 91%
15# 5oz - 97%
41.5 cm - 85%
1 comment:
i love you and your family :)
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