- Sometimes, in the mornings, I wake up before any of them and sit on our back porch and breath in morning sunrise air and I pray praise to God for our children, life together and home. -Peace-
- Then they all wake up and we do diapers, give a bottle, breakfast, change the NAM, potty, change out of pajamas, try-to-just-get-the-coffee-to-my-mouth, hair brushing, start on chores, diapers again, put on shoes and try to make it to anywhere on time. -Madness-
- Sometimes the girls are completely content to be playing by themselves, listenning to CD books, "reading" other favorite books, playing on the patio and I can sit in the rocker with just Ben and give him a bottle slowly and without interruptions. I can hold him close to me and put all the other demands on my time on hold and just -be with- baby Ben. -Peace-
- Ana sometimes insists on "going potty" which requires taking off her diaper for her to sit on the potty for 30 seconds and then proudly announce she has done something only to find nothing. (Although, in her defense a couple times there have been somethings which is why I give into this request!) Then we have to redress her and in 10 minutes she will do it again. -Madness-
- The other day Ben was asleep in his crib, Ana was napping and Z was being ever so quiet next to me while I pumped. She looked over at baby Ben and whispered with so much emotion, "Momma. He is so beautiful!" And then I cried, because I think so too. -Peace-
- We go to endless doctor appointments and they always seem to last more than 2 hours. -Madness-
- Ana and Zoe now share a big girl bed. It's a twin and so they are pretty close, but they seem to like it since they spend half of the day cuddling, hugging, playing together anyways. They snuggle up under their blankets with all their favorite stuffed animals and toys and talk to each other until they finally fall asleep usually 45 minutes after they go to bed. -Peace-
- I have yet to grocery shop with all 3 of them. Actually, the only place I take all 3 of them solo is spanish storytime at the library. It takes 15 minutes to get everyone to and in the car. Oh! and church because lately Matt has had to go seperately so for the past 3 weeks I get everyone ready for church and shuffle them all into the car, masterfully (cough) timing my pump session and Ben's feeding to make it to service on time-ish. -Madness-
- These girls love their brother. Zoe loves to just be in the same room with him. Ana likes to talk to him and is excited when he is in my arms when I get her from her room in the morning or after nap. The other day she kept saying, "hi ben! I big sister. I big sister, Ben." -Peace-
- Sometimes they are all. screaming. about. something. at. the. same. time. -Madness-
I feel like our days are an ebb and flow between absolute chaos/madness and then sweet peace that fills the air and my heart/spirit/soul. I have almost given myself over to it completely - acknowledging that this just my life and really, we did it to ourselves. But when I think about how they all have each other and how just gosh, darn loving those girls are to each other and to their brother - I feel hopeful for the future.
Peace. Peace. Peace.
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