Ben at 1 month

Yesterday Ben was 1 month old. I can't believe a month has gone by! Time goes much faster on this side of the womb. 

His demeanor is still incredibly sweet - and he hardly ever fusses. I dont know how much he weighs - I had to move his 1 month checkup that was scheduled for tomorrow to next week because he is getting his NAM tomorrow - and that appointment took precedence. 

The taping alone has already done amazing work at drawing his cleft closer together - it will be interesting to see what the NAM will do as well.

Life chugs by - we do the same thing most every day - taking all 3 of them out together is tricky - less because there are 3 of them and more because I am tied to the pump every 2-3 hours. If I could just nurse him the timing of outings wouldn't matter so much - I have a portable pump to bring when I go out, but I can't do that and manage 3 kids solo. Around 12 weeks you are supposed to be able to drop 1 or 2 of the pumps - I have a CRAZY supply - I make between 45-55oz of milk daily... a baby drinks around 30oz at their top intake. Soooo... I'm thinking that even if my supply dips when I go to less pumps, no one will be hurting. 

And Ben looks like Zoe! Here they are, each at one month. 

I've been praying lately about what God is using Ben to teach me, the girls, our family. Or rather, what God is using the pump to teach me, the girls, our family. Therein lies the real difficulty, bane, etc. So far I have only drawn two conclusions. One is to keep my mind in thankful mode. I am BEYOND thankful that I supply enough milk to feed him exclusive breastmilk. That one fact is so important to me.. I hated using formula, however little it was, at the beginning. So if I had to supplement often, that would be hard for me. Well, I think technically it would be -easier- for me, but not for my heart. And second, and this one resounds like MAD within me, is this truth: Love is patient. Love is kind. I chant this to myself when both girls are screaming and Ben needs a bottle or when I'm pumping and the girls are getting into -everything- because they are bored because we dont leave the house much. I say it to myself in reference to what love is not. Love is -not- laundry folded, a clean kitchen, a dusted house, a scrubbed bathroom - sure, all those things are things I do to create a home with peace ... but most importantly the girls need my -love- and love is patient and kind, so ultimately, at the end of the day, my most important job is to be those two things to them. And Ben. And Matt. 

I feel accomplished that we have made it a month. God really is good!