Jack is ONE

I'm so far behind as family historian I'm just going to gloss right over that fact and update where I am.  A large portion of it my struggle to obtain photos from my phone and get them to the computer. I'm failing miserably and anything technology related causes me to flip my lid and struggle to keep behavior in line with being a pastor's wife. So... I give up.

Yes we can Jackie Boy!

But anyways, it's Jack's birthday. Hurrah Hurrah Hurrah! Remember when we started this crazy cleft journey at his 20 week sono? Or how he started out making a splash in the NICU?! And how some days I literally had no idea how we were all making it through the days. As expected, this year tested and pulled me in ways I never thought possible. And I even have an all time worst experience ever to compare any hard event to - I just think to myself or sometimes say outloud, "still not as bad as the NICU."

The only time I held him on his birthday I think! 

Chubbs will take it how he can get it!

Now that these boys are growing up - I wonder where the road goes from here. I feel like so much of it is up to them now to carry. We (I) pumped, we NAMed, we held them while they struggled against no-nos and learned how to bottle feed, we spent hours and hours awake after surgery fighting it out against their discomfort and now they get to choose how this hard thing affects them. They can let it own them and dictate their lives - or they can own it and use it for the good God has in store for them. For His glory and His purposes. What are these purposes? Only time will tell and I pray that as they grow Matt and I can steward this in them well. I don't know how to do that but I'm praying for wisdom and I believe He is faithful to give to those who ask.

#dad

Sibling conference

Thanks, Bro

Happy guy!

At one Jack is a ball full of JOY. He loves to sing - "Let It Go" is a favorite, but he often just sings things. He waves hi and bye and can say "bye" and says something that sounds like "ana" though I'm not sure he means Ana when he says it. But he does LOVE his sisters. They spend a lot of time loving on him. Ben is pretty neutral - sometimes engaging in the fun of playing with Jack and sometimes moving on. Jack can stand and do some fancy squat moves but has yet to take a step. He fights against eczema but I think we are winning the battle so far. He is a cuddle bug and snuggles up often. Sometimes if Matt and I stand next to each other he dives back and forth because he doesn't know who he wants more. He is pretty sensitive and doesn't like the garage door closing or dogs or any loud noises or loud interactions. He's my darling boy and it's finally feeling more normal and day to day to settle in to having all these kiddos.

Happy birthday buddy son - you are an amazing little guy full of smiles even in the face of things that I think would drive a lot of people crazy. I pray God would continue to use joy in your life to overcome things that challenge you. I'm excited to watch you grow and find out more of who you are.  We love you so much Jackie boy!

Cuddles

Besties

Family joy!

Pondering

Lookin so good bubs!

yarrr

When we don't have to wear a NAM we all feel so HAPPY

Comin for kisses!