The latest photo is from 17 weeks. I'm just getting bigger. Same old, same old.
This baby gives me so. many. headaches. For the majority of this pregnancy, I wake up around 3 or 4am to use the restroom and go back to bed (hopefully easily, some nights not until around 6a). If I manage to fall back asleep, almost without fail, I have a really stressful dream or a straight up horrorific nightmare and I wake up again (usually around 7 or 730a) with a killer headache! It's awful! To make matters worse I have the allergies from hell and they won't go away! I'm either stuffed up or my face is running like crazy every night and usually during the day too. Man! And I'm exhausted, to the point of feeling sick, usually by 9 or 10 each night. I'm not sure if that is because of chasing after Z all day or it's just the way it goes this time. Z was made out of lemonade but this baby is made out of benedryl and tylenol. staples. Who knew something so small could take over your entire body so easily!?
I spoke with another mom on Sunday at church about being pregnant. Her kids are about 2 years apart also, and she said something really interesting. She said that she doesn't think her oldest even remembers what life was like before her second. This was kinda nice to hear. Z does really great around babies, she loves them, she kisses them, she is almost obsessed. But I still feel like she's going to be sad when I can't pick her up b/c I'm already holding another baby. And what about daddy love? She is in. love. with Matt and I'm not too sure she's going to want to share him. But maybe, as time goes on, she won't remember that it used to be just her. The mom said it's so great now - her youngest is around Z's age - because the kids play with each other a lot. Then she sort of looked off into the distance and said, "hmm. yeah. the first year is really, really hard... with two babies....but now," she focused her eyes back on me, "it's great!"
I've been looking off into the distance a lot lately too thinking, how the heck is this going to work? Sure, one baby, no problem, you at least have the option to sleep while the baby sleeps. But z only sleeps about 2 hours during the day. What are the chances #2 is going to sleep when #1 does? And if I have two babies, who is going to feed us? or go to the grocery store? or wash my clothes? or clean my toilet? I feel like these are all valid concerns. And I am beginning to feel just that... concerned.
Maybe I shouldn't write posts at 9:45p at night after being home all day with Z....
2 comments:
Oh girl, I've been there. All of the thoughts going through your head went through mine about 10 months ago as well! Trust me, the first few weeks might be difficult as you figure out how to work things, but it gets easier. My girls LOVE each other. When they see each other they smile from ear to ear. They are each others best friend right now! You will learn that you can't always hold Z when she wants to be held, or the baby might cry a little more than you'd like, but in the end it will all work out. TRUST ME!!! You can do it! :)
I'm with you... I have all those same concerns about a #2. And I notice how much one on one time I get with #1 that just won't happen with #2. :( But God designed it that way right? It'll be good!
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